I am the last person in the world you would expect to write a blog for a number of reasons. To start with, I really can't stand people who think that the whole world really cares about what they're up to. If someone wants to know bad enough then why can they just pick up the phone and call? Or send you an email? I mean, for goodness sake it couldn't get any easier nowdays to keep in touch with others! On top of that fact I am also a usually extremely busy, scatter brained, and distracted person. Normally a blog would most definitely be on the bottom of my priority list. I am used to having no extra time on my hands at all and if I ever did get any then I would certainly be using it to relax! But right now I am at a point in my life where I am BORED! I get off work at 4pm everyday and go to school one night a week until 6:15pm. So to solve my boredom problem I just figured I would get a second job... right? Well that is proving to be nearly impossible so almost every night I sit at home waiting for the love of my life to call me when he gets off work around 10. What do I do in the meantime? ANYTHING! I have nothing to do! I've been praying about this and struggling with trying to discover why God is allowing me to go through such torture. What did I do to deserve this?! Now I've got to thinking that maybe God is giving me this time for a reason. Maybe this blog is His reason...
You see, it's not that I think that I am the exception to the rule and that everyone would want to read about my life more than others. This blog is not about me. It's about God. This is one of my ways of bringing Him glory for the things that He has done in my life in the last few years. For over a year now this blog has been on my heart. I've felt the desire to share this information with others so that they too can be as blessed as I am. Until now I've never had the time or energy and at this point I have a surplus of both. So here it goes. This is my story. I've decided to begin with my testimony...
I recieved Christ into my heart at the age of four. I was born into a Godly family that was at church every time the doors where open. For a long time I had what seemed to be the perfect life. What happened when I was nine years old no one saw coming. My mom and dad starting having problems. My dad moved out for awhile and then came back. But I knew that things were still not right. The word divorce seemed to linger in the air but I never believed it would happen. Then one morning my mom woke me up early in the morning throwing all of my clothes in trash bags and telling me to gather up anything very important to me. We got in our van and drove off. Without my dad. "We're going away for awhile" she said. That trip turned into a move to another state and my parents did end up divorcing. It was about 10 months later that we ended up moving back to Florida and my mom began working. Not long after we left my brother had moved back home to live with my dad. So now it was me, age ten, my sister, age 2, and my mom. I never really had a relationship with my dad up to that point and some things that happened in the years to come left me angry and bitter. I lived the Christian life on the outside, but on the inside I was rotten. I had a bad attitude.
It wasn't until I was around 18 years old that I began to realize just what was going on in my heart. It was unforgiveness. Unforgiveness towards so many people that had hurt me over the years. I was finding it nearly impossible to find it in me to forgive. I felt justified in my anger and felt like there was some justice being done in my unwillingness to forgive. But God worked in my heart and showed me that the only person my unforgiveness was hurting was myself. What I had been longing for for so many years was peace and that true peace only came when God taught me how to forgive. You see I couldn't do it on my own. God put in my heart what I needed so that I could. A couple of years later Johnny convinced me to buy a book called Captivating written by Stasi Elderidge. He had read a book by her husband and had been positively influenced by it. What began to happen as I read that book was astonishing. And that's what I'm here to share with you. I want to show you how God taught me to be captivating so that you too can learn how to be. My plan is to blog about once a week and just go through the book chapter by chapter sharing with you what God spoke to me about while I was reading. If you have read the book or now anyone who has please invite them to follow along with me as I would love to have their input also. Thanks for you time! I know this is a long post and I promise to keep the other ones shorter :) Till next time...
Cassandra <3
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