I have a confession to make. I'm not perfect. I know it's hard to believe. Now obviously I understand that no one really does think that I'm perfect but sometimes I do feel like I'm held to the standard of perfection. Am I alone in this? That was a stupid question. I know that if you are a woman that you've felt that way before and I also know that if you were honest with yourself there is a very good chance you feel that way right now. If not, I applaud you and hope and pray that one day maybe I can get rid of this nagging feeling of never living up. Why is it that as women we constantly struggle with this? Can we blame it on the world? Maybe. Can we blame it on men? Seems to always be the easy answer. But really, I think we've done it to ourselves. God's love does not work on a reward system ladies for if it did we would surely be doomed. Now, when I made the observation that I wasn't perfect what I really meant was that I don't live up to my own standards. I'm so tired of feeling like I constantly have to do better. It's true that as a Christian I need to do my best to please my Savior and reflect Him in my life. But if I focus on having a realtionship with Him instead of trying to win over His love maybe it wouldn't be so much work. You see, I'm at this transition in my life. I've spent my whole life trying to please my mom and make her happy that it's just what I do. I don't have to try hard to do it. But I'm becoming an adult and although I hope that my mom is pleased with me I have to shift my focus. Wow... I just shocked myself. You see, there is something in my heart that I've been kind of wrestling with God about for a little while now. I've felt so confused about what to do but honestly, it feels like there is nothing I can do to make everyone happy. But I think I just figured it out. I didn't plan on writing any of this. I had two things on my heart that I wanted to blog about tonight and wasn't sure which path to take so I just starting typing and trusted that God would lead my fingers. I've had some alone time with God tonight and have been begging Him to give me the answers and I think he just did. Praise God! I've got to get my focus on having a relationship with God. Just like my relationship with my mom, if I can get focused on my relationship with God then trying to do the right thing won't be so much work. It'll become simply what I do.
Now onto what that has to do with Captivating. You see, what I just did there, admitting my imperfection and being open about my struggles in my Christian walk, was a huge step for me. There was a time in my life when I would've never talked about all of that openly for all the world to read. If perfection was what people wanted then that was what I would show them. Even if it wasn't real.
So, did you do what I challenged you to do last week? If not you're might end up wishing that you had. As I was studying this chapter I began remembering what I was going through when I read this for the first time and how much of an impact it had on me. To begin, I want you to think of your favorite piece of artwork. Not necessarily a painting or something like that but what it is that man has created that you find beautiful. I have a couple. I love music and cooking. I will listen to just about any type of music (which does not include rap because that is NOT music) but I particularly love stuff from the 40's. Especially Sinatra. That is art to me. Not just his voice, but the actual music of that era. I also love to cook. I know you may not think of cooking as art but for me it is. I do NOT simply follow a recipe. The recipe is the framework and my job is to build on it and perfect it. Enough about that. This isn't about me. Now imagine the creation of the universe. Think about it in the stages that God created it. But while you're thinking about it think about and imagine the creation of your favorite art work. Now, imagine that you get to the end and everything up to this point has gone perfect. But as you look back at the creation of your artwork you realize that something is not right. Something is missing... kind of like when I taste my creation and realize that although it is good, there is something else that would make it perfect.
This my friend, is what happened at the creation of the earth. God created and created all the way until He created man. But as He looked back at everything He realized that something was missing. That something was woman. Just think about that. I've gone on way longer than I planned so the rest of this will have to wait until a later date. But this week, just think about the fact that you, woman, were God's finishing touch to this beautiful earth that He created. Think about the most beautiful God created thing that you have ever seen... and then think about the fact that it wasn't enough. He needed YOU.
Until next time...
Cassandra
P.S. if you didn't have time to complete my challenge from last week you still have time! do it this week!
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