It's been too long...

This blog, like the last couple, is completely different from what I originally intended for this blog to be about. So much has happened in the past few months that I just haven't been able to find the time to get on here and devote the time and attention to this blog. For that, I am truly sorry. I probably should have made it a bigger priority but with my wedding coming up this Saturday (YAY) and everything else going on I've been super busy. But something happened tonight that I just have to share. In fact, it would be selfish not to because everyone who reads this should get to hear about how great God is and just how He showed me that tonight. The past couple of weeks seem to have been nothing but horrible to be honest. But even in the midst of all of that God has continued to show me little things just to remind me about how much He loves me and cares for me. I don't know how I would've made it if it hadn't been for those sweet little reminders.But tonight was completely different. Tonight, I felt like I had God's complete attention. As if for these moments no one else in the world mattered besides me.

Have you ever had one of the those days, or series of days, that just left you feeling completely defeated? I know we all have and honestly, after today, I just felt like throwing in the towel. I was tired of "being strong" and all I wanted was to  give up and take the easy way out. We've had car troubles, money troubles, and work troubles that have been piling up and just getting worse over time for awhile now. By "we" I mean me and Johnny. But things really hit the roof this weekend. Friday night Johnny called me from work complaining about chest pain. He's had these pains for a couple of weeks now but they definitely have been getting worse and they were pretty bad on Friday night. I took him to the ER and was there literally all night. The DR sent him home saying it was probably just anxiety since the EKG came back normal. We did however find out that he has diverticulitis so that was a small blessing to finally know why he has such issues with his stomach. Today though Johnny called me at work saying that  the pain had gotten very bad and that he really felt like he needed to go to the ER again. So on my lunch break I go and drop him off. Now here it is, three days until my wedding, my dad and step mom arrive in town today, I've got 14 people coming over to my house for dinner tomorrow, and Johnny is in the ER. So you can probably figure out why I'm feeling completely defeated. But even in the midst of all of my self pity at a time when I seemed to have forgotten about God, He didn't forget about me! Here's what happened next...
I live in the lightning capital of the world. More lightning strikes happen in central Florida than any other place on earth. We have these crazy things I call lightning storms where we have all this lightning but no rain or thunder. I think it's awesome! One of the things I love best about living in Florida is sitting and watching lightning light up the sky in complete silence. To me it's just a beautiful picture of God's power. I like to think of it as God showing off :) Tonight, on my way home from the hospital, I saw the most beautiful one I have ever seen! Words cannot even describe the beauty of it all! I was in complete awe and silently thanked God for showing me His power at such a time. But it only got better from there. I came home and began cleaning my apt in preparation for my guests tomorrow and decided to play the radio on my computer. Chris Tomlin's I Will Rise came on right after. This is already one of my favorite songs but tonight it touched me in a completely different way. I felt so overcome by the Spirit that I had to stop what I was doing and just raise my hands and worship. With tears streaming down my face I felt like God was just filling me up with His love when I felt so undeserving of it. But it just got better in a matter of 10 seconds! Within a couple of seconds of the song ending I get the sweetest text message from Johnny telling me how much he loves me! As I'm reading the message I turn the radio back up and Mandisa's Stronger is on the radio now! Another one of my favorites! It was like in that short time God had spoken to my heart and just said "I love you and I always will. I know exactly what you need, when you need it, and how to give it to you."
I never ceased to be amazed at God's love for me! Sure, Johnny is still in the hospital until at least tomorrow just to rule out any heart problems. And there are still work and money issues to be dealt with. But in the midst of all of this God is doing a mighty work in mine and Johnny's hearts. He is showing us that no matter what we face, "He will never leave us nor forsake us". It doesn't get any better than that! I'm writing this to tell you that no matter what you're going through right now, God is still there! He still loves you even when you have a hard time feeling Him there! He cares about you and when you need Him the most, all you have to do is call! Please don't ever give up! God might not change your circumstances, but if you let Him, He'll change your attitude about them. Until next time...
Cass