So since this blog is all about becoming a woman captivating to God I definitely thought that a blog dedicated to my mom was in order. My mom is not perfect as no woman is, but I can honestly say that my mom strives for perfection in every area of her life. She might not ever be able to accomplish that until Christ comes for us or she goes to Him but her constant effort towards it has made her into a beautiful woman inside and out. I once told her out of frustration that she couldn't expect perfection out of me and her reply was that she could expect me to try for it at least! At the time I didn't understand it and I thought she had too high expectations out of me. But now as I am older I understand how her seemingly out of reach standards for me have helped mold me into the person I am today. Any good in my character I owe to my mom.
I won't ever forget one 4th of July Sunday in church I knew ahead of time that the choir was going to be singing our National Anthem during the service. My mom played the organ and came to me and told me before the service that when the song was played I was to stand in honor of it, even if I was the only one who did. When the time came for the song only one other person besides me began to stand. I looked at my mom and she gave me a head nod. One of those subtle hints that says "you better do what is right or you'll later wish you had!" I was embarrassed to the point of being sick; but I knew that putting up with the huge knot in my stomach was nothing compared to dealing with my mom being dissappointed in me. So me and the other man stood there alone facing our flag and eventually about half way through the song the rest of the church realized that they needed to also. I had many people come to me after church and let me know that they were thankful that I stood up because it reminded them that they needed to also. At that moment, knowing how proud my mom was of me made the embarrassment worth it. My mom taught me a valuable lesson that day. Character is not common; but you should always have the courage to do the right thing, even if you're the only one doing it.
Through my life most people have seen my mom's high expectations of me as harsh and overbearing. But I would say completely the opposite. Yes I've had a certain fear of my mom. But it's not a fear of physical punishment or withdrawal of love. My biggest fear was always that I would let my mom down. Now before you start psycoanalyzing me let me say that I never did. No matter what I did wrong my mom always let me know that she loved me and that she believed in me to do the right thing. When I did mess up, she told me what the right thing to do was and because of her faith in me I always knew I could do it. She always told me that doing the right thing was never easy or popular, but it was always worth it to have favor with God.
My mom is my biggest fan. She has always believed more in me than I've ever believed in myself. When things got hard in my life and I felt like giving up she always let me know that I was not a quitter and that whatever it was that needed to be done, I could do. And I believed her. Any accomplishment in my life, I owe to my mom. I know her prayers for me are what got me through some of the hardest times in my life. She has made countless sacrifices to make sure that I could live the life she wanted me to.
So to you Mommy (yes I still call her mommy),
You were always right. No matter how smart I acted or how many facts I threw at you, you were always right. Your stand for what is right has been what has kept me going. I've met very few people that take such a stand against wrong as you do and I'm so thankful for your stand. I know that your constant faith in God is what has made me into the person I am today. All the times I've seen you pray for a miracle and recieve it, are why I have the faith in God that I do. Thank you for being a full time mom, even when you had to work. I've always known that your kids are your first priority. I love you so much. You are truly a woman after God's own heart. I love you!
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