Chapter 3 Haunted by a Question

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. There's so much going on right now and my life has been kinda hectic and crazy. I can tell it's been a long time since I've updated... I can't hardly remember how to type! This chapter is just as good as the rest. I love the title... Haunted by a Question. That question is this... Am I lovely? Don't you love that word? LOVELY. I do. It speaks so much more than just an outward beauty. Any woman can be beautiful on the outside... but it takes a lot to be lovely. I remember one time during church when I was about five years old I was sitting with my grandmother. She was giving me pens and paper from her purse to keep me busy and somehow I managed to get a hold of her lipstick. I had so much fun... and I remember thinking that she must not mind because if she did she would've stopped me. Well when she did catch me it became obvious that she did mind. Looking back on it I can see that I was trying to be lovely. Our society tells us that in order to be beautiful we have to wear make up. As little girls we're told that we don't need make up, but then we see all the older women around us that can't go without it. What exactly happens when girls become teenagers? Do they all of the sudden become ugly? In my honest opinion women do not NEED make up. It's about that age that we just get tired of wondering if we are beautiful and we think make up is the answer to our question. I do wear make up but I've never been the type to HAVE to wear it. Sure it enhances my features and I do think I look better with it. But I also think that I'm beautiful without it. Well, I do now. To be honest, I eventually just got to the point that I didn't care whether or not I felt beautiful. So what was the point in wearing make up? As I read this chapter I remember feeling puzzled. For so long I had been made to feel like it was wrong to strive for beauty. And now I was being told that God finds me beautiful. But it's so much more than just an outward beauty. God finds me lovely. He thinks that I'm beautiful inside and out.
Do you know what it is that brings this beauty out in me and you? It's when we quit trying to be something we're not. God did not ever intend for us to have to be "tough." Not that we should be weak and passive either. When we try to act like we don't need anyone to take care of us and that we can do anything we are not showing our true feminine beauty. Showing a false image of God is sin. Think about it. If you are the image bearer of God what kind of image are you showing others? Did you know that God wants to take care of you? As women we want most for our emotional needs to be taken care of. And we are always looking for a man to do that for us. God wants to do that for us. When we rest in Him and trust that He will take care of us our true beauty comes through. A woman at rest is truly a lovely woman. Think about the women in your life that you feel are truly lovely. Do they always look as if they are in a rush? Do they constantly question if they look alright? Do they seem as if they are constantly striving for something? Chances are they don't. If you haven't read this book I really encourage you to. I wish so bad I could just show you the whole chapter right here. The author does such a good job of explaining all of this.

Probably the best thing that I read in the whole chapter was about a woman's biggest fear. Abandonment. Just let that sink in for a moment. We are so scared that the people that we trust in our lives are going to fail us. I can speak about this from personal experience. I had a couple experiences in my life where I felt truly abandoned. It gave me a fear that has never been matched. I hate to be alone. Absolutely cannot stand it. I'm moving out of my mom's house in a week and will be living by myself for about 3 months before I get married. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm already getting scared. Well here's the thing friend. People will fail you and for you to expect them not to is unreasonable. They are human just as you are. But do you know who will never fail you? God won't! He is the only One who is completely capable of fulfilling your needs as a woman. He will always give you just what you need at the right time. The Bible is full of verses that proclaim this! When we put our trust in Him and in Him alone our fear of abandonment vanishes. He said He would never leave us nor forsake us. This excites me just thinking about it! It fills me with confidence and makes all my fears flee. And that is what true beauty really is. Trusting in our all powerful, loving, wonderful God. Just read your Bible and find as many promises from Him as you can. See what it does for your feminine heart.
I just want to take a moment to talk about a woman that is truly lovely to me. I've never been able to meet her in person and to be honest I haven't gotten to talk to her as much as I would like to. I"m not even sure if she reads this blog. What I do know about her comes from what others say and what I see on facebook. I really should get to know this person better, especially since she's my step sister, Jocelyn. She is a mother of three. But from everything I see she is not the image of a typical mother of three. It's not that she any less housework to do or that she has any more help than any other typical mother. But I can tell just from the little that I know her that she is resting in God. She truly enjoys life and loves being a mom. She is exactly what I hope to have with my family one day. I'm blessed to have other women in my life like this to but I just wanted to give a personal example.
This week think about that question... Am I lovely? Think about what your answer to that would be. Next we'll talk about what happens when we expect others to answer that question for us instead of taking it to God. This is something that I have personally experienced and you probably have too. Now I want us to learn about what to do about it. Have a great week!
Cass